The Writer's Lair
I'm Abigail. I write poems, study languages, and play the clarinet. I'm currently trying to survive high school in America. I'm bilingual with English and Japanese and working on a few other languages.

My sideblog where I do daily journal entries in foreign languages to practice: paint-the-sky-with-new-words

I take requests for spoken word/any kind of poetry so feel free to send me an ask with writing requests. You can find all my writing in my tagged 'my writing' page

This blog is where I post my writing as well as reblog things that have to do with music, fashion, languages food, fandoms, photography, writing, social justice, and books.

I am a writer, a social activist, a linguist in training, a singer, a clarinetist, and I aspire to be a world traveler and teacher.

My askbox is always open for anything: ask me for advice, poetry requests, translation/learning help with Japanese, ask me personal questions, random questions, or just drop by and say hi!

Warning: I don't tolerate hate or prejudice.

I do tag stuff, stuff I tag is on the "stuff I tag" page, and a more in depth overview of me can be found on the "about me" page if anyone actually cares about that.

I hope you enjoy my blog, and have a lovely day!
"You have feet worn from walking
And wide stained glass eyes
But you’re not broken my love
You’re my technicolor sunrise."
11:06 PM
"In a way, you are poetry material. You are full of cloudy subtleties I am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out."Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena (via mashamorevna)

Heyyy so I created a side blog to practice languages like Japanese and stuff with daily journal entries

If you wanna follow that its www.paint-the-sky-with-new-words.tumblr.com

I’m keeping this one as my normal main blog I reblog everything on and post poetry on so this blog will stay normal no changes there. Just a new side blog ^-^

I wanna start writing daily journal entries in my foreign languages but I feel like I should make a separate blog for that, don’t you think? It might be nice to have a side blog just dedicated to foreign language journals while keeping this one as my main blog for everything like poetry and reblogs. 

dftba-winchesters:

bitch-jerk-assbutt-teamfreewill:

vardaesque:

digigender:

thechandelurequeen:

batcows:

I Painted My Nails 7 Hours Ago and Thought They Were Dry Then I Did Something and it Turns Out They Weren’t: my autobiography.

The nail polish will harden up instantly if you dip your fingertips in ice-cold water.

bless u

omg

also spray them with spray-on cooking oil before soaking them in the ice water. it makes them shiny and slick.

You guys are the future


Anonymous: Ay it's Tuesday so imma ask you something Alright Here we go Uhm Wow I never really planned for this I didn't think I'd even make it this far I'm sorry Wow I'm dumb Last minute question I guess How do sky Make the blue and sun Bam Answer that science side of tumblr Or Midori Preferably Midori

Yes I am the science side of tumblr my mom is a scientist and I love science, I love science questions thank you.

The sky is blue ‘cause of a thing called the Raleigh Scattering which means when wavelengths of light enter the atmosphere some colored light has short wavelengths and some have long wavelengths and most of the long wavelengths go through without being affected most of the time, like reds and stuff, but blue light is shorter wavelengths and it gets scattered by the sunlight easily and can be seen all around. Sunsets show up other colors because when the sun gets lower light has to go through more atmosphere to reach our eyes so the blue is even more scattered allowing us to see the reds and yellows and oranges. 

Sorry if that was confusing it’s hard to explain properly ^-^


Anonymous: Not really a TMI tuesday question but... okay anyway I really want to wear clothes that match more to my aesthetic but my parents and friends turn their noses up at it and say that I need to cover up more and wear less black and less makeup and not get piercings and I don't know what to do about it I want to be myself but I don't want to lose some of my friends or be labeled as anything you seem pretty confident in your look, what do you do about this?

Sorry this might get lengthy, but let me tell you a story, anon.


I used to be a lot like you, having an idea of what I wanted my aesthetic to look like but being caught up in what other people think or what I could do to please people. I still struggle with it a lot and don’t always have the best self esteem. But here’s the thing about self esteem- it’s hard to have any if you’re not being yourself. 

This was me way back in seventh grade.

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You’re probably thinking, what’s the big deal, so it’s an awkward selfie from back in the dark ages of your childhood. It’s not that bad. Well, although this picture isn’t necessarily bad at all, it’s hard to look at pictures from that time of my life because I dressed to please other people. I listened to my parents and stuff I saw on TV and things people told me about how girls were ‘supposed to be’ and what ‘ladylike and pretty’ meant and all the things I had to do in order to be that, and I hated that I could never live up to it. I dressed for others, not myself. I had a ton of internal anxiety over my body image and the way I looked and it was awful. I had some friends who supported me but also some friends who were toxic and judged me by my appearance.  It was like this all through middle school, with me making small efforts to dress the way I wanted but then losing confidence and going back to hiding and my mental health and self esteem were unstable. 

Eventually I realized, I have to stop trying to please all the critics of the world. 

Now doing that isn’t easy. I have anxiety and a whole bunch of ingrained tendencies to want to please everyone around me, but at the same time I’m also conditioned to want to rebel and be myself, so it’s a constant struggle some days. But I knew I had to begin the process of learning not to give a fuck what other people say about me or the way I dress.

Once I mustered the confidence, I decided to go crazy with it. I experimented with tons of different looks, types of makeup, clothing styles. People had no idea what I was trying to do. I didn’t even know what I was trying to do.  It was liberating, and even though I still struggled with confidence I had made a resolution to stop basing the way I looked on what other people wanted. 

And yeah there were some things I tried that probably didn’t work for me and I probably made a fool out of myself sometimes but that’s okay. I tried chalking my hair purple and putting it in pigtails and this horrible awkwardness ensued and stained a bunch of my clothes purple. Throughout my first tries at individuality and gaining my own style there were issues with badly applied lipstick, horridly combined outfits, tacky accessories, getting cheap mascara caught in my eye and having to go to the nurse, and bad haircuts; all sorts of horrid embarrassing things.  BUT THAT WAS OKAY. I WAS DEVELOPING MYSELF. IT WASN’T PERFECT. But it was better than hiding behind a fake me. 

By eighth grade I was starting to be more self expressive and figure it out but I had some toxic relationships that started while some of my real friends and I had a falling out, and those toxic relationships killed a lot of the progress I made. 

Now I’m in high school. It hasn’t been that long. But I’ve made a lot of progress. I still struggle with social anxiety and self esteem but I feel better and more confident about myself, my body, and my personal style than I ever have and I am learning to truly not care whether or not the way I look pleases people. It’s about me, not them. Fashion is a personal choice. 

I’ve found ways to compromise with my parents on the things I wear, and sometimes I have to give in for the sake of peace, but most of the time I stand my ground. I’ve cut ties with any so-called friends who judged me on how I looked and become better friends with the ones who are positive about it and made new friends too. I’ve made progress recovering from my eating issues and negative body image. I have a long way to go but I’m getting there. My self esteem is better than it has been in a while thanks to surrounding myself with positive people and making decisions for myself.

THIS IS ME NOW:

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Notice that all of these pictures are different. I don’t conform to one aesthetic or stereotype. I literally wear the makeup and clothes that make me happy in that particular moment. I project my inner self. 

The most important thing I’ve learned: You don’t have to subscribe to anyone’s bullshit “norm”. You can wear frilly skirts and pastel colors one day and all black the next or mix the two. You can wear jeans and a t-shirt one day and dress up fancy the next for no good reason except for that it feels right. You can wear short shorts or cover everything up. Whatever you want. You can wear any color, style, aesthetic, or combination of aesthetics you want for just one reason: You want to. You can wear whatever makeup you like, or none at all. You can shave your legs or not shave your legs. You can eat what you want and be proud of your weight. You can gain or lose weight for your own healthy reasons or you can chose to be just the way you are for your own healthy reasons. You can do anything you want and you should NOT have to justify it. Get rid of anyone who tries to make you justify it. Wearing something or looking a certain way doesn’t put you in a labeled box. Fashion is about projecting confidence and what makes you you. Rock it, whatever it is!

Don’t feel bad if it’s a long process. There are still days when I hate the way I look and I struggle with it a lot. But making the effort to just make decisions for myself and not to please others has been a huge step in the right direction. I hope in 5 years I’ll be even MORE confident and at home in my own skin.


Anonymous: Selfie, pretty please?

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~Tuesday is ask me anything day (well everyday is but especially Tuesday)~


Anonymous: How do you get inspiration to write things and how long does it take you to write your poems

I don’t know really, usually I just come up with the idea out of nowhere, it mostly comes from personal feelings and stuff. Sometimes I think of ideas while listening to music. And as for time, a poem can take me anywhere from 5 minutes to two hours or I’ll write a bit, leave it alone, and come back to it days later, it depends on the poem.

~Tuesday is ask me anything day (well everyday is but especially Tuesday)~


Anonymous: What's your usual makeup routine?

Sometimes I wear concealer/foundation but lately I’ve been going without it out of sheer laziness ^^; Otherwise I wear black or brown eyeliner or another color depending on what I’m wearing, sometimes liquid but mostly that gel in-between type stuff that is kinda like a mechanical pencil, and black mascara. I like to put on colorful eyeshadow as well. And bright lipstick. I’m big on either dark eyes/lips or bright and colorful eyes/lips. Otherwise I just improvise. 

~Tuesday is ask me anything day (well everyday is but especially Tuesday)~

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